PERFECT!!!
Pros:
Perfect reminder of the BEST method to REACT, then handle most all broad general behaviors.
Cons:
PARENTS will either NOT DO IT, or NOT DO IT RIGHT.
The Bottom Line:
Perfect base method! Parents either won't do it or will not do it right.
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Overall Rating:
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Author's Review
I am a stay-at-home-mom of 4 boys all within 2 years apart. And...while they were all very little, our rented townhouse back patio was smack dab on the public playground courtyard. So for 4 years I was a free babysitter to MANY children's un-escapeable interactions with my children. I was steamrolled by one fresh and new challenging episode/situation after another. Throw in a few good, and some insecure/immature parents in the mix, and I think I have the credentials to say that this 1-2-3 Magic Method is GOOD. Yes it can sound SO cheesy. Get over it. The skit dialog between the parents and children...CAN HAPPEN, and yes, I do talk to my kids this way. Another reviewer said that saying "So, you'd rather be playing outside than doing homework?" is unrealistic? NO it's not. It is called VALIDATION. It is also exactly what The Happiest Toddler Author states to do with toddlers feelings, to get tantrums to stop. It develops EMOTIONAL INTELLIGENCE (EQ) and helps kids develop the healthy necessary thread--between their thoughts, feelings and reactions to all life events. INVALIDATION is a term used in psychology that causes emotional damage and hinders people. So however cheesy it may seem...to look at your kid when they are babbling their case to you and cut through the crap to the heart of THEIR matter and validate their actual feelings IS corney/necessary step one. Phelan teaches you to THEN move on to stating YOUR PARENTAL wishes to the child. After acknowledging THEM. If parents can swallow their pride, they'll see that Phelan is helping them to develop their own initial response composure habits and then follow through assertive communication skills. (Becky Baily PhD has a good book on these skills) Dr. Phelan also talks about using the METHOD on HIS OWN TWO CHILDREN, a girl and a boy. So watch his VIDEO series for those stories. Many Elementary School Area Education Agencies have Phelans materials for parents to borrow for free. And some elementary schools (when aware of the method)have worked with their local AEA's to implement the CLASSROOM version of 1-2-3 Magic for the classroom!!! With success.
Yes, this method is a no-brainer. Appropriately-Absurdly simple and needs to be implemented in faith. But it will NOT work if deviated from, Phelans instruction. Really!
So mommies, who are defensive to Phelans method and trash it, seem angry because they don't have the faith to just swallow their pride, shut their mouth and simply Follow Directions! Just like the kids they are trying to discipline with unhealthy passive/aggressive flip flop methods. Maybe Phelan is trying to tweak you back down to the simple core skills you may have deviated from? So to those mommies I say:
"So it hurts you to think you might not be handling your discipline methods as well as you could be?...Quit quacking!..Follow directions!...THAT'S ONE.
