Let's talk about sex, baby! (well a sexy comedy, that is)

AUTHOR’S NOTE: This review was written at the time the movie was originally released in the summer of 1999. At the time I was experimenting with review styles, trying all kinds of crazy ideas instead of simply straightforward critical essays.

In this particular review I decided to write it as an imaginary conversation between myself and my friend Matt. It might actually be easier to read than a standard critique because it’s so stream-of-consciousness. It also works as a review should – it summarizes the plot without giving away too many details, it makes arguments for why it’s good and cites examples and overall I think it’s just an interesting read. But then again, I wrote it so of course I think that.

I truly hope you’re rate it based on those merits and not see it as some bizarre rambling that belongs elsewhere. If you don’t find it very helpful I challenge you to specifically argue WHY it’s not.

Again, this review was just an experiment and I haven’t written another review in this style since. If enough of you like it I may try it again.

Thanks!
-Chad

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CHAD: What's up?
MATT: Nothing. What're you doing?

C: I'm trying to figure out how to write my review of “American Pie.”

M: I didn't see it, is it good? What's it about?

C: Yeah, it's really good. It's got everything in it. It's raunchy in some parts and sweet in others and throughout the whole thing you get the feeling that the dudes that made the movie grew up watching the same movies and TV shows we liked. I sensed a strong John Hughes inspiration here because they show teenage kids for what they really are and what they really act like. They're not just a bunch of sex-crazed maniacs. No wait, actually, they are. But not in that typical, mean, raunchy way most teens in movies are, ya know?

M: That's what the commercials and the previews make it look like. They make it look like some kind of “Porky's” or something for the 90s.

C: Well, actually, there is that kind of sleazy feeling during some parts. Some of it looks like they're making the movie purposely for horny teenage boys because of all the sexual innuendo, but it's like, REALISTIC sexual innuendo.

The guys in this movie, they're fairly realistic teenagers. I mean, they're all in their senior year and they make a pact to lose their virginity by graduation. That's pretty original right there because I think Hollywood assumes all kids lose their virginity at age 14 or younger. It actually acknowledges the fact that, hey, it's pretty damn hard to get sex when you're a kid. But the actual plot is about them trying to keep this pact and encourage the other guy and by the end when it doesn't look like they're going to keep the pact they all start to blame each other.

M: Sounds like that “Seinfeld” episode where Jerry and George made a pact to get married and then George got mad that Jerry reneged on it.

C: Yeah it's kinda like that. There's some other subtle Seinfeldian things going on here, but it's more geared towards teens so it doesn't try to be super highbrow. I mean, it's a sex comedy.

M: Yeah. So how does the story actual work?

C: Well it's mostly about this kid Jim (Jason Biggs) who's in this clique that's not at the highest social rung on the high school ladder. Jim's a quiet, sorta goofy guy. He's a lot like one of those characters you'd see on a sitcom, especially like something on one of those ABC TGIF shows or something... only in an R-rated movie.

M: Umm... Okay.

C: Anyway, so Jim has three best friends: Kevin (Thomas Ian Nicholas), Oz (Chris Klein) and Finch (Eddie Kaye Thomas) who also fit that kind of sitcom-esque, sorta-cliche/sorta-real kind of personality.

Kevin is the sensitive guy in a long-term relationship with this hot chick named Vickie (played by Tara Reid, who's a helluva lot different than the chick she played in “The Big Lebowski”). He keeps thinking they're gonna do it because they've been going out for a few months and it's just like the law of dating ya know? Him and Oz make fun of Jim because he's never been to third base. There's a good joke when they tell him that it feels like warm apple pie and he says “McDonald's or homemade?”

And that Finch guy is like this really dorky dude who's just kind of friends with these other guys. He's like Niles Crane as a kid. He drinks mocha chino at school and he refuses to use the school's bathrooms (oh they exploit that for a Faralley-brothers type gag that's really funny even though you're totally grossed out and wincing the whole time). After they all make the pact he suddenly gets this reputation for being like a total stud and that he has like, uh.. ya know... like... a big schlong.

M: How does that happen?

C: Well, that's one of the movie's many surprises. I’m not gonna tell you everything.

M: So what happens, is it like they all try to seduce chicks or something?

C: Sort of. I mean, Kevin already has a girlfriend and Oz, who's like a total jock and sort of a himbo, a lot like the character Chris Klein played in “Election,” well he decides to fake being really sensitive and he joins a singing group to try to start with a clean slate so the girls there won't know what he's really like. And then it turns out that he's not just faking being sensitive and sweet and stuff, he actually is. There's this really good subplot where he meets this cute blonde girl named Heather (Mena Suvari) who you think he's going to just seduce and use and all that, but they end up being a really good couple. That's one of places you notice the John Hughes-type themes and dialogue going on.

M: Yeah whatever happened to John Hughes? He should make more movies like “Breakfast Club” and “Ferris Bueller” again. All he does now is like these gay Disney kids movies.

C: Yeah I know. But anyway I'm getting off track. So a lot of the movie is about the four guys and their quests. But a lot of stuff happens along the way. Like there's a few scenes where Jim's dad (Eugene Levy) keeps coming in and talking to him about sex and masturbation and stuff. It's really funny because the dad just says it so non-chalantly and you can tell it's an uncomfortable subject for him.

M: I can't imaging having a conversation with my dad like that. Is there any cheesy subplots going on, like does someone get knocked up or get AIDS or something?

C: No, but I think they should have dealt with those issues. But then again, this is a mainstream comedy movie so they're not going to get TOO realistic, certainly not bring the mood done. I mean, that's what the afterschool specials are for. Still, they do take it pretty seriously. There's this one conversation Vickie has with her friend Jessica (Natasha Lyonne) and she asks if it hurts. I can't remember any movie where a girl even remotely hinted at the possibility that sex might NOT be completely pleasurable ya know? I talked to a lot of girls and they say it does hurt the first few times. I can't imagine THAT hurting.

M: So is the whole movie about sex?

C: I wouldn't say it like that. It's more like an honest coming-of-age story of kids and what they think about it. It's more about the hope of getting it than the act itself. There's a lot of taboo stuff going on during it all too, like this secret book that Kevin's brother (Casey Affleck) tells him about which says how to give a girl oral sex where they actually enjoy it. There's a funny scene with that in which the chick screams “I’m coming!” and her parents think she's on her way down for dinner!

M: That IS pretty raunchy, but that sounds really funny though.

C: There are a lot of other parts like that, that should be offensive and stuff, but they just weren't to me. Like a beer cup full of umm… let’s say “DNA,” and this part where this wicked hot chick Nadia (Shannon Elizabeth) gets naked in Jim's bedroom and... well.. it's like almost porn at one point, but it's really funny. I saw it with some girls and I was totally surprised they didn't find that disgusting or offensive or anything.

M: So, it sounds like you're saying it's like a guy's comedy that girls will like too. And you're sure it doesn't get too sappy or corny or anything? I mean, it's gotta have some cheesiness if it's going to get girls to like it.

C: I guess. There's no one specific aspect I'd say is like that, but it's there. But it didn't bother me. I laughed a helluva lot and it's just a really good and a witty script and it's easy to relate to and everything. It’s one of the best comedies I’ve ever seen.