Wonderfully Offensive Hilarity for Kevin Smith Fans

WARNING: Do not watch "Dogma" if your religious sensibilities are easily offended! I mean, come on, George Carlin as a Cardinal? Jay and Silent Bob as prophets? The 13th disciple, who was excluded from the Bible for being black? The last descendent of Jesus, employed in an abortion clinc? Need I say more?

But if you can put aside your sensitivity, and especially if you are a Kevin Smith fan, "Dogma" is a star studded riot!

Basically, the movie is centered around the premise that two fallen angels Loki (Matt Damon), the demented Angel of Death, and his friend Bartleby (Ben Affleck) have discovered a way to return to Heaven after being banished to Earth (and Wisconsin, of all places) by God.

Unfortunately, the way in which they would return involves a loophole that would technically be a "mistake" by God. Since the Supreme Being is infallible, that would undo the very fabric of all creation because it's not possible. Thus, the universe would cease to exist.

The loophole is linked to one of the best aspects of the movie: a campaign by Cardinal Glick (Carlin) to make Catholicism more user-friendly. My favorite example was his idea that traditional depictions of Jesus are just too downbeat; thus, he creates a thumbs-raised, smiling statue of Buddy Christ.

Another part of the campaign is that anyone who enters the church automatically gets their slate wiped clean. The angels get the idea that if they enter it, they will be forgiven and God must take them back. Thus, they start a trek from Wisconsin to New Jersey.

Should be easy for God to stop them, right? Nope, he/she is in a coma, having assumed human form to play some Skee-Ball and being beaten nearly to death by thugs (I swear it makes sense in terms of the movie). Instead of allowing the old man to die, thus freeing God to return to Heaven, right to lifers are forcing the hospital to keep him on life support, unaware of the fact that they are incapacitating a diety and endangering the universe.

The angel Metatron (played by the wonderfully droll Alan Rickman) recruits Bethany (Linda Fiorentino), Jesus's last living relative, who is currently employed at an abortion clinic, to stop the evil plot. The scene in which he appears to her is hilarious! First he tries a burning bush that appears in her bedroom, and she takes afire extinguisher to it. And when he shows her his lack of genitals...well, I don't want to spoil too much for you.

Of course, Bethany is given helpers: two prophets in the form of Jay (Jason Mewes) and Silent Bob (Kevin Smith), as well as the black 13th apostle (Chris Rock) and the muse Serendipity (Salma Hayek). But is this ragged band a match for two homicidal angels obsessed with the idea of getting revenge on God?

Some of the humor in this movie is of the gross-out variety (for example, the Sh-!t Monsters), which wasn't very appealing to me. But other moments shine through with their deliciously ironic hilarity, such as Loki's mass murder of the Board or Directors of a Disney-like company. Because they are all sinners, he mows down everyone around the conference table...except one poor woman who he announces free of sin. But then he remember that she didn't say "God bless you" when he sneezed, and he raises his gun to execute the poor, terrified, blood spattered woman till Bartleby calms him down. This might not sound very funny, but you have to see it in the context of the movie's dark humor.

I won't go any farther because I've given enough away already. Suffice to say that Kevin Smith fans will NOT be disappointed. This isn't humor on the order of a Farrelly Brothers flick, but rather the very specific and acid Smtih-brand wit. If you enjoy that, you'll love "Dogma." If not, and if you're offended, don't say I didn't want you!