He Came, He Sawed, He Had A Corpse Named "Nubbins"

Nubbins rocks.

Anywhoo, everyone's favorite skin-clad chainsaw-jockey is back, and he has himself a little lady that I reckon he's taken a real shine to.

In this installment of "Sawin' With the Sawyers", Dennis Hopper is a Texas sheriff who's hoppin' mad, and he's got himself a bone to pick with Leatherface and the crew. I rather think he's just as nutty as the lot of them, as he grabs a few chainsaws from the local chainsaw store (no kidding) and heads off to "bring it all down".

Joining him in his quest of redemption is a lovely lady disc-jockey with the unusual name of "Stretch". This, I assume, refers to the condition of her clothing. She just happens to hear two rowdy teenage boys get killed while talking on the air with her (or should I say, annoying her on the air) and she's got it all on tape. Needless to say, when she plays it over on the air to aid the police, Pop Sawyer is none-too-thrilled, and sends his boys out to take care of the matter.

Well, a few years have gone by since Sally and her friends first encountered the slimy Sawyer family, and a few things have since changed. Our favorite crazy hitchhiker has lost a lot of hair, but he still has all the same psychotic charisma. Leatherface, however, seems to have shed a few pounds. (I guess it's hard to fill Gunnar Hansen's apron. We love you, Gunnar!!)

When it comes time to "Kill that *****!", Leatherface seems to have a few technical (and physical) difficulties. Out of lord knows what kind of emotions, he spares our radio heroine, and joins his metal-plated Vietnam vet brother in disposing of Stretch's boyfriend, who must have the worst timing in the world.

Stretch, being as either brave, nosy, or stupid as she is, decides to follow the pair back to the abandoned amusement park that the Sawyers call home. Even though Pop Sawyer makes a killing with his famous "sausages" and "chili", apparently expensive trucks are more important than a decent home. Well, I guess it just gives the boys more room to romp in and dance around with Nubbins, a corpse they've dressed up in flannels and jeans and carry around like an oversized teddy bear.

Well, of course, Stretch manages to fall into a hole and land right in the middle of a roomful of dead-heads, and who else should find her but Mr. Happy-go-Hacky. He doesn't kill her (I think he has a crush on her! OOOOOOH!) but instead ties her to a pole. As loosely as he ties her, of course, she can't get free. However, apparently people can walk around with exposed chest cavities and no facial skin, because her loving boyfriend comes to her rescue before he finally remembers that he shouldn't be alive.

While all this is going on, the sheriff is busy singing and sawing down the support beams all over the place.

Stretch, however, doesn't make it far before lover-boy and family find her and decide to invite her "to dinner". Of course, she ends up getting a little too acquainted with Grampa, who's still alive and kicking, and who still can't hold on to a hammer. While Stretch has her head over a bucket and Gramps makes a few feeble attempts to hit her, in comes the sheriff, hymn-singing all the way.

While the fuzz gets in a chainsaw swordfight with Leatherface, Stretch goes to make her escape, followed closely by the Tin-Head Man. She corners herself in a tower, where she meets none other than Grandma. She then swipes the chainsaw from the old gal, which her loving family has placed with her in her human throne, and goes completely insane.

In the meantime, Pop Sawyer makes a dive under the table with Nubbins, who acts as the family grenade carrier. The pin flies, and that's where the whole shebang ends.

Of course, this movie was not meant to be as well-done as it's terrifying counterpart, but rather more along the lines of what happened with the Evil Dead series. The original was meant to terrify, the sequel was meant to just overall entertain. It is meant to be funnier than frightening, which is pretty much what it has achieved.

The acting is good ,nonetheless, and Edwin Neal's performance is twice as entertaining this time around. Jim Seidow is just as gentlemanly-creepy as ever as old Pop Sawyer, and the new Leatherface is even stranger, and more vocal, than the original.

The laughs come often enough, as well as the scares, and there's more blood in the first fifteen minutes of this movie than there was in the entirety of the original "Texas Chainsaw Massacre". However, the blood is spilt well, and very convincingly, with splatter-master Tom Savini at the helm.

Overall, the movie is quite fun, even though it's not as good as the original. If you want to be a bit scared, yet still have a few guffaws in between, then this is the movie for you. If you're looking to be absolutely terrified, on the other hand, then I would suggest sticking with the original. While this movie is quite frightening in it's own right, it becomes more and more absurd, and hard to take seriously.

However, I still highly recommend it, because it still really delivers in both laughs and frights, despite the lack of total seriousness that the original blew us away with. The original was meant to be very real, and all psychological horror, while this one pours out buckets of blood, and goes all-the-way-weird for the laughs.

Great for parties, but bad for those with weak stomachs. I call it, "Fun With Chainsaws".